First things first, I never wish harm on any player. In fact, I’m a Philip Rivers fan. Okay, maybe not a legitimate fan, but I loved his fuck-it attitude on the field. Sometimes you have to use any edge possible, and at times that edge comes in the form of verbal abuse.
So when I saw he was signing with Indianapolis, I was titillated, to say the least. The thought of Rivers coming out of retirement at the athletic-prime of 44 years old and somehow pulling out a win sounded electric. I was hoping to see them playing the Titans, Saints, or something of the like.
Not so much.
Seahawks, baby.
10 years ago, seeing Rivers on the Hawks schedule was disconcerting, to say the least. See, in 2015, the dude was straight up slingin’ it. Throwing for a career high 4,792 yards, including a 503 YARD GAME against the Packers, the guy was the real deal.
Wow. What a season. Truly, good stuff Phil.
But here’s the thing. 2025 looks a lot different than 2015.
34 to 44. Single digit to double digit number of kids. And even a grandkid!
I mean, there’s no doubt that dad-strength is a thing. But I’ve never heard anything about grandpa-strength.
Yes, I’ve seen the videos of him throwing the ball at the Colts training facility. No, I was not impressed.
The dude looks like Uncle Rico’s recruiting video. Seriously, the resemblance is uncanny.
I can’t imagine the mobility is looking any better. This is what I’m currently envisioning.
Now let’s check in with his opponent this weekend.
So…yeah. The Seahawks are having their best season in a decade, with the defense leading the charge. The fellas are some of the best in the league in every category, especially when it involves getting to the quarterback. I know Phil is a religious man, so I hope him and his family are saying their prayers. Christmas may not be so jolly for the Rivers family this year.
Prayers up for Phil.
Go Hawks.
Jacob Goodman
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