*WARNING: White Lotus Season 3 finale spoilers!!

Wow, what a weekend! First, the Mariners get swept by the Giants with ANOTHER walk off, and Victor Robles gets carted off the field with a shoulder injury. Then, the most pure and likeable character in all three seasons of White Lotus gets killed in the finale. And to top it all off, Vladimir “Vladdy Daddy” Guerrero Jr. gets signed to a MONSTER deal by the Blue Jays.

Why am I even surprised? I had this ridiculous hope that we were going to make a move for the Vladdy Daddy. Alas, we did not.

Side bar, no one calls him that but me. 

But god dammit I was hoping that we would form the greatest trio of nicknames on one team in history.

1. J-ROD.
2. The Big Dumper. 
3. Vladdy Daddy. 

It sounds like three porn stars mashing homers and sending us to baseball glory. The idea was titillating.

Welp, I guess not. Vlad just signed for 14 years, $500 million dollars. If only I found out he killed someone and I could blackmail him for 1% of that (another White Lotus reference, anyone?).

On to the next. And by “on to the next”, I mean on to the next decade of watching Vladdy hit bombs and beat us out for a playoff spot. Bottom of the West and not an end in sight. 

See you in hell. And by hell, I mean T-Mobile Park. My favorite place on earth.

Yay Mondays..

Go M’s.